Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Letter for Ethan

Dear Ethan,
In less this a week ( hopefully), you will finally be here in my arms.  Being pregnant with you has made me learn so much about myself, about you, and about our little family all of which I'm very thankful for.

Your not even born yet and I can tell your going to be just like your daddy.  Stubborn, and playful, and a slight tendency to drive me crazy, but all in the best way possible.  You have tested my strength in myself and have made me stronger. Life is hard, life is scary, but you have made this all worth it.  This has been the most unpredictable thing I've ever gone thru in my life. Each day, each doctors appointment I don't know what to expect. Will my blood pressure be high? Will that be the day I go on bedrest?  Are you safe while dealing with all of this?  But it makes me so thankful that yes you are safe, and yes my little man we have made it thru this roller coaster.

As the your due date gets closer ( or in this case, our induction date) I get alittle more worried. What will it be like to be a mom? Will I be able to give you what you need and make sure you have the best childhood possible? I don't know but I'm sure going to give it my all.

You poor dad is getting so antsy waiting on your arrival. He can't wait for his future football star ( or so he thinks you will be, although I know your going to love baseball, and the atlanta braves like me).  Its funny every time I call him, his first reaction is " is it time?"  Nope, not time, I just need him to do me a favor, pick up something I'm craving, or who knows what else. But regardless he has been there for me and you the entire way, and I know that will never change. 

You don't realize just how lucky a little boy you are, there are so many people who love you already and we haven't even met you yet.  Your Mimi calls me on a daily basis "just to see if its time", and your Aunt Michelle and Uncle Ryan are in constant contact counting the days down while they finish school waiting on their nephew.  I know one thing, you'll never be without love in this family.

So now we wait, impatiently, I'll admit for your arrival.  We all know you will come when your ready, and probably when we least expect it, but for you to do something predictable would be very unlike you, that we have already learned.

With that being said buddy, your mommy has one request.  You can gladly stay where you are until you head to college if thats what you want, but please, if you come soon, lets do it without chaos.  We want you here, but we want you safe and healthy, and if we need to wait for that to happen then we will.

All my love,

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