Why I do it.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Last night I came home from work not feeling quite like myself. I was worn down and tired- both mentally and physically.  I walked in the house and gave my husband a kiss on the cheek then went upstairs to change out of my scrubs.  Then like every night I walked into my sons room and looked upon him so peacefully in his crib, holding onto his little whale. 

I picked him up like I do sometimes when I don't make it home to put him to bed and sat in the rocker with him and we rocked just like we did when he was first born while I hum and he sleeps in my arms.   He is one of the reasons I work so hard and the reason I try to be a better person every day.

While I am sitting there holding on to my little boy my husband brings me the phone and tells me its my mom. I take the call but whisper to try and not wake Ethan up. She asks whats wrong, she is my mom she can always tell if I'm not acting like myself.  I tell her I'm fine, just tired.  Of course like any good mom she tells me I'm working to hard, wearing myself out and stretching myself too thin.

 "Shannon your a mom, a wife, and you work two jobs. Its too much. You just re-injured your back, don't you need to step back and take care of Shannon for a while?"

I tell her "I'm fine, that it won't be forever" and " I can do it, I'm Super Shannon remember?" She sighs but lets it go at that.

After I hang up I think about what she said. I know she is right, I'm stretched too thin and its wearing me down. I can't keep doing everything I'm doing for much longer without it having lasting effects. I'm tired and need my rest  but as I look at Ethan I say the prayer that I normally say every night when I put him to bed. I pray for my family, I pray for my friends and I pray for strength. Ethan gives me hope, but it is through Him, our Lord, that I can continue doing these things for my family and for myself.