Whats been on my mind

I know people are wondering how I'm doing, so I thought I would give you a quick look into my jumbled up head right now.

Since my last post about my crazy health concerns I have had lots of time to think.

Why? Because my preop appointment isn't until the 18th of the month. Which means I'm currently in the middle of the longest 3 weeks of my life ( thus far).

  Its weird because the more I think about it, the less it bothers me. I  had a day of shock, a day that I sulked and since then its been like " Ok thyroid, bring it on!" ( corny but true).

 I'm not scared of what the future holds. It may be because I'm an oncology nurse so it brings me comfort knowing that I already know how things could happen. Or it may be because out of all the different types of cancer there are, if this is thyroid cancer then I have a 98% chance of still having a normal life after treatment ( and I pretty much just ignore that 2 % left over). Or it could be because I know no matter what happens I have my friends, my family, and my faith.

 I have hated talking to people about it because they give me this look

And I hate when people look at me with pity. I don't want pity. I want to go about my day without people  acting like I'm broken.

I am ready to face this surgery and whatever comes next head on. Until then I will just continue to drive myself crazy with google. ( I mean seriously have you googled thyroidectomy scars? I have and they're ugly... yuck)