While we are still in limbo I have decided to start doing what I can to prepare for Tim's upcoming deployment. Finishing up DIY projects we've been working on. Purging old items we don't use anymore, cleaning and organizing. Anything that will make things a smidge easier when he's gone. Mostly though we have been preparing Ethan.
I have done plenty of separations from Tim so I'm use to the fact that I'll be on my own. But I've never had to be a temporary single parent thanks to the Navy.
Now the good thing is 10 years from now Ethan won't remember that Tim was gone for a year and a half of his young life. But in the mean time we are going to be living our lives without Tim being a daily part of them.
With Aubs its easier because she understands that Tim doesn't have a choice ( not to say its not hard on her. He will be her last year of high school which has so many important pieces to it.) Plus she can still email, skype etc with her dad to help fill that void.
Yes Ethan and I can do those things too but he just won't "get it". So in the mean time we have put a hold on any big changes. No reattempt at transitioning to a toddler bed. No potty training ( even though we think he is almost ready), no more looking into moving. Nothing but spending as much quality time together as possible.
When Tim leaves we will jump right back into a every day routine because not only will that help Ethan cope, but I always tend to do better when Tims gone if I throw myself into a routine. Who knows maybe we will pick up something new to help fill some of the time. I've thought about signing up for the Y or maybe Gymboree. Something fun that will help us take our minds off the fact that a piece of our puzzle is missing.
Plus I have yet to decide what I'm going to do with work. I will have to continue working full time. But my other job ( which I don't work that often anyway) may have to go. It will be hard enough for Ethan to spend three 12 hour days without me, I don't want to add a fourth day if I can help it. Luckily I have good friends and family who have volunteered to help watch Ethan as much as they can to prevent us from having to do daycare. I know he'll need daycare eventually, but if I can hold off until he is closer to 3 I think it would be better for him and for me.
We are trying to live every day like normal but in the back of our minds we know its a clock ticking down until we say our goodbyes at an airport and prepare to spend the next couple months as a divide family. Do I expect set backs? Yes. do I expect meltdowns? Yes. But I know it can be done and we will come out on the other side of this stronger.