Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Whose in charge here?

I had this idea of the type of parent I would be when I was still pregnant. I would be that cool trendy mom whose child adored her, and who never had to yell or get frustrated. I was laid back and go with the flow. In reality what I really was, was wrong.

Apparently there are 4 major parenting styles that experts say people fall into some variety. 

So what makes one better then the other? Well I guess it depends on what works for that family. I have friends who fall into all of these categories, and it seems to work with their family. Do I agree with all of them? No but its not my life its theirs.  

Me personally? I am pretty sure I fall somewhere in the Authoritative category. Ethan knows his limits and knows if he pushes those limits I'll be there pushing back ( typically in the form of a time out or some other appropriate punishment).  Tim and I still try to be very hands on but when he is misbehaving then we tend to let his tantrum run its course without us cuddling or yelling. If he wants to cry, fine I have something else to do anyway is how I look at it.

Research shows that a parenting style can have a huge impact on how the child acts when they're older.  I mean think about it. You verse your significant other. Where you raised with different parenting styles? Do you think it effected who you turned out to be?  How did your parents influence the type of parent you turned into?  

No one style is better then another and many times it seems like ones parenting style has to adjust to that of your childs style. Do you have a laid back go with the flow child, therefore you can be a more relaxed parent? Or does you child like to push their limits?

The key is to remember that what works for your may not work for someone else and once you find a style that works then stick to it. You may not just learn something about raising a child, but also about yourself.

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